Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
