you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
