I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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