Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
