There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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