well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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