Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
