She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We smell like vodka and hangover
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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