If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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