Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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