A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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