She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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