He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
