I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
