You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
