If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
