I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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