you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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