This gyro tastes like lonliness
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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