nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
