you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
