But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
vagina is talking i cant
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
