I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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