dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
