I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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