True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
