I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She is in my trunk
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
