make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
