My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
