So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
