ugly people sure do ruin things
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
