Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
