Too much gin, very little bucket
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
