Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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