as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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