I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
