I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
