ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
