i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
