you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
