I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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