i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
