I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
