does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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