I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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