census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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