she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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