Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
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