I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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