duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
