it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
