Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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